In 2019, I lost over 70 pounds. I did it with better eating and exercise.
But my real secret weapon? It was priviledge and good fortune.
Priviledge
For decades, work stress made it difficult for me to stick to fitness goals. I would cope with stress by eating. I would convince myself that I was too time-poor for workouts.
Last year, I learned new, healthier behaviors for coping with stress. I also reduced my overall baseline stress by improving my fitness. But in order to do that, I had to make space in my life for that transition.
My home life is busy, and making that space wasn't easy. Fortunately, as a self-employed product developer, I was able to make space by prioritizing fitness over work.
I did everything I could to ensure that work stress was managable so that I could focus my willpower on establishing new, healthier habits. It was several months before I felt confident that the new behaviors were taking root. During that time, building my fitness habit was my top priority.
I adjusted the knobs in life to make some space for change. There are many people who do not have that luxury.
Good Fortune
I had a wonderful home-life support network. My wife, in particular, was my biggest cheerleader.
Also, there are so many ways I avoided bad fortune:
- I did not suffer any major illnesses.
- I did not suffer any injuries.
- I was not diagnosed with any major diseases.
- I did not suffer any major financial issues.
- I did not suffer any major family issues.
- I did not suffer any traumatic events.
It's easy to ignore all the things that could go wrong, because individually, the odds of any one thing happening are low. But when I look at the multitude of ways bad fortune can visit, I realize how lucky I am for each day that's free from major disruption.
In the early days, when my new habits were just fledgling aspirations, any major disruption could have derailed my efforts.
The Truth About Obesity
This tweet resonates so hard with me:
what doesn't kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humour
what doesn't kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humour
— daisy (@mermatriarch) August 12, 2016
There's no shortage of hardships in life. When you're presented with hardships that are bigger than you're ready to face, or hardships that no one should have to face, your options for moving forward in life are limited. Coping mechanisms are how many of us learn to move forward.
The movie Precious (2009) illuminates this better than I ever could.
I have compassion for people who struggle with their weight and other forms of addiction. You never know what someone else is dealing with behind the scenes.
This Is Not a Flex
I hope it is clear that I'm not trying to gloat.
My point is, you'll never hear me say "If I could do it, anyone could." That's simply not true. I succeeded in no small part because so many things went well last year. I'm fortunate to have had this opportunity.
At the same time, I see people who have less advantages than me do incredible things. A lack of advantage doesn't have to stand in your way. I believe we are all more powerful than we dare to dream.
Everyone's life is a unique puzzle. We all have different advantages, disadvantages, strengths and weaknesses. We all have to figure out how to shoehorn our path forward into our own personal circumstances.
If you're trying to lose weight, be kind with yourself. And be patient. And when you hit setbacks, try to persist. Don't ever let yourself feel like a failure because of how you stack up against someone else. This is your unique journey. Just keep trying your best.
And Finally
In spite of how I feel about my own achievement, I think very differently about other's achievements. By and large, I strive to attribute everyone else's achievements to their own hard work. Seeing someone do something great inspires me. Why would I rob myself of that inspiration?
It's not that I give myself no credit for what I did. I am proud of what I've done. I worked hard to earn it. It's just that hard work isn't the whole story.